My Poor Darling Babe

There is nothing more comforting in the world when you are sad then an animal. Last night while giving my love to my dear Grandpa through my Grandma, who is so strong in this time of hardship, my little Baby Sox roused from his slumber and came over to me. At first he was crawling on my lap and just letting me know he was there. Then suddenly he started to bite on my arms and hands as if to say "Don't be silly, buck up." And I must admit he helped me keep my voice from quivering and helped me be strong for my Grandma. Only once did I hear her voice shake.

Once off the phone I couldn't hold back any longer and fell into a long hard cry, which I must have truly needed because I couldn't hold it back. Quickly I realized that my little babe was no longer bitting on me. He had run off and crawled into Mike's PJ pants and all I could see was his little nose and his eyes, just staring at me from inside the leg. My weeping had been so much that I had scared him. Of course the only time he would have seen me like that was when I thought I was loosing him, and he I'm sure does not remember it. I lay down next to him and started to console him, which in turn calmed me down. Eventually he crawled out slowly and sniffed at my tears. Ferrets don't cry, I'm sure it was a very new experience for him.

It ended with him bitting my hand again, telling me to quit being so sad. Although I was exhausted afterwards, I felt a release that only comes after really letting it all out.

And Baby Sox, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Sometimes you really know how to show me that you do care.

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Water and Oil Don't Mix

In light of loosing an entire day on my game last night (*tear*) I started to wonder what would happen if I was forced to live one day over. What would happen? I'd probably run into different people, how would that affect me? It could change your entire life! It could be the difference between living and dying, loving and losing. So so much.

And how would you act on a day you knew you got to relive again? Would you go kill your boss? Ok, so if I got to live today over I would....skip work entirely and just chill at home. Well..but I would do fun stuff and wouldn't I want that fun stuff to last into the next day? I mean, wouldn't I want to have those stories? I wouldn't...

Having to relive a day would not be a good thing.

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A to the D to the ..hey that's that..?

SPRING IS COMIN GUIZ!

Spring and fall are my favorite seasons! Well I guess whatever is just around the corner is my favorite. But I'm super excited for this spring. I'm going to be visiting schools in the next couple weeks and getting all of that started. (yay!) It's narrowed down to....*drum roll* BC, North Eastern, Emmanuel, and Simmons. I've already looked at both BC and Simmons pretty seriously. They are all great, and none of them are drastically more or less money. So, I just need to go see them and get a feel for them. That's all I can do. I've been dragging my feet on this one for so F*in long that it's time to just hick up my suspenders and do it!

Next on the ADD order of business, what the heck is up with my mood today? Yesterday I was miserable and just *groan* all day. Today I took my meds super early so they'd kick in by the time I left for work and dun dun DUUN! I'm pumped. I was even making a grocery list on the bus, but I was getting motion sick.

Ok, one last thing before this post gets too long! Hellgate vs WoW:
Wren wants me to try out WoW. I'll give it a go I 'spose. I told him I could only handle so many addictions though and I -did- just convert my WoW friend over to Hellgate.

Wren's argument was WoW has better end stuff, etc. Well WoW's been out longer. I think Hellgate's more my style but then again I've never actually -played- WoW.

IDK!

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Opiates, Oh my

Early Friday morning I was in so much, intense pain I thought something terribly wrong had occurred. I only got to sleep by laying in one specific position that numbed the pain just enough to keep me from screaming. It got to the point where I couldn't move without being over come with pain. I tried to self medicate which helped to some extent, but the pain had moved up into my shoulders and it felt like I was being stabbed over and over again.

Around two I tried to roll over and was hit with so much pain that I just started to scream. Blood curdling screams that called out to Mike on the other side of the house. He rushed in and was pushing down on me trying to calm me down and finally I had to bite my fingers to get myself to stop. That was it, off to the hospital I went.

Pregnancy scare, ultra sound, IV, Blood work, morphine later I had a ovarian cyst that had ruptured. Since I hadn't moved the blood had settled up near my diaphragm and caused my shoulder pain.

So now I'm on vicodin, ibeprophine, and zrfran. And I'm feeling worse today then I did all weekend. I think my other cyst ruptured. But somehow I have to make my way into Magic Beans so I can earn money :(

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I'm fitty years old man, Five Oh

While I was mulling over the metro this morning, coming to the conclusion that I am thankful we didn't move to Dorchester, a man sat down across the isle from me and had the most entertaining conversation with Casper. It went as such:

"I was just hangin' out."
"You cash your check yet?"
"I needta light my gas."
"You seen my electric bill?"
"I was just hangin' out."
"Just hangin' out."
"I ain't no faggot man, I was just hangin' out."
"Cash your check yet?"
"God bless you man."
"I was just hangin' out."

There is no doubt that on my full bus was he talking to anyone but Casper. To further entertain my morning my first bus driver was throughly proud of himself after fixing the ticket machine. After not charging passengers for several stops I hear him banging away at the machine, clinking of change depositing, and then finally the familiar ding of a charged card.
Throughout the bus I hear a very proud Bostonian voice shout out "I fiiixed it!"

I wonder what else the day has in store for me?

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String of Good Fortune

Happy New Year! A new year brings a benchmark to look back at where I was one year ago, so here it is:

One Year Ago I was:
* Almost single :'(
* Living in an apartment with no real room to speak of, in an area I disliked.
* Working a dead end job where I wasn't appreciated.
* Being selfish.
* Had no idea what I was going to do with my life.

Today I am:
* More in love with Mike then I ever thought possible.
* Living in the most amazing house, just the two of us.
* Working two fantastic jobs with great bosses and co-workers.
* Maybe still being a little selfish, but not nearly as much so (heh)
* I'm going to be a nurse!

So my resolutions:
* Be in school by the end of the year.
* Pay off those damn credit cards!!
* Live life as frugally as possible without depriving myself.

Horrah! Kisses all around.

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