Two Face

I had the most disturbing dream last night. Mike and I arrived at what was supposed to be his/our house. There was a girl there who was his best friend (no jealousy issue) I walked into another room and I can hear her whispering to him that there's no better time then now and to just do it. He walks in and gets down on one knee and proposes! I was so happy and excited, but then I realized it was a dream and calmed down. Then suddenly is flashed back to when we'd just gotten there again, the girl was also there. We were sitting in the living room and instead of proposing the said I was stuck on the friendship level, to which I replied that it was him who wasn't able to move forward with our relationship and stormed off in a huff. From the bedroom I could hear the girl scolding Mike for what he'd said. Right after this the real Mike walked into my bedroom and I woke up. I don't really know what to make of it o.O I would so love to get engaged right now, but I am content with where we are as well. And the girl in my dream, it was like she was me telling Mike what I was thinking in each dream.

What does it mean?

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Break Down

Since opening the page to start this blog I have calmed down somewhat. I have been going crazy all morning about work and Thanksgiving. Work because I have a -lot- to finish up today so that it's all caught up for the rest of the week that I'm taking off. Also I was going to start my second job today, but she didn't email me until this morning, and I don't have my green shirt with me but I do have bunch of laundry with me. So I wouldn't have time to go home and then go back and Mike's busy all day and can't help. So I said it was impossible for me to start today, but that means I need to get a jump start on my cleaning when I get home this afternoon so that I'm not rushed on Thursday morning.

So I'm stressed about cleaning, the apartment is a mess. Most of the garbage and laundry is picked up or done, but it's just dirty. I need to do dishes, the bathroom, scrub the floors bla bla bla. But it's ok, I'm master of the 10 second tidy, just need to turn it into a 6 hour scrub down.

Now about Thanksgiving, apparently we're just sitting at home doing nothing. -.- So then what am I so stressed about? Hahhahahaha.....ha.. ha... ok.. But I think I'm ok now. I got it figured out with Jerrod what they are bringing and he knows what I'm planning on making. Got an awesome recipe from Soul for some cider and I might have Mike help me pick out some wine if the budget allows it. As for the bird, I'm buying it all ready cooked! ^_^ Boston Market is my friend. I can't deal with roasting a turkey right now. Maybe next year I'll branch into that.

So... I'm definitely an over achiever when it comes to this kind of thing, but I really like to make people feel at home and what better way then a huge feast for thanksgiving!?

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Russians and Middle School Teachers

My Saturday night was just a normal night, unless of course you pay close attention. After walking across the Longfellow Bridge (which trust me, is long) and going to the bathroom in the haunted Omni Parker House hotel, we caught the subway out to the middle of nowhere by the beach. While there, we stopped to pick up some liquor and I was eyed by an African Gray Parrot because I was staring too much. Fast forward about twenty minutes and we're drinking Stoli vodka and a Ukrainian honey and pepper vodka with several Russian immigrants while learning what knife, spoon, fork, table, and chair are in Russian. Up on the roof top we are smoking pot with a middle school German teacher, discussing how half a student in his class might use German outside of school.

Later on a rose is growing out of Mike's chest just for me and we are dancing an Irish Jig to Flogging Molly. Over the course of the night I ate several different kinds of fish, pickled, dried, ect. The dried fish was a whole fish, eyes and everything. Russian host rips off the head and skin and then hands me the fish, telling me to make sure I eat the dried caviar portion of it. It was delicious, but the caviar part was like eating a fish flavored gummy bear that stuck all over my teeth. Our cab driver home was a funny man who had to have been a little stoned. We get into the car and Kev "Oh, this is The Who!" Cabbie: "This is not The Who." Next song plays, "This isn't the Who either."

And so I wake up the next day not knowing how I got from the front door to my bed and with a cut on my thumb I have yet to identify the reason for.

Just a normal Saturday night.

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Oh Dear

Hello darlings.

We will skip past the 'Oh yay Sox won Sox won' bs and onto the real point of this message.

I've done a bit of soul searching lately. Mostly last night while sitting in a dry tub with all my clothes on, shoes included. We won't discuss how I ended up in a tub with all my clothes on, just know that that's where I ended up. I'm getting a part-time position at a little toy store for the season, yes I realize I'm crazy. But here's the reasoning behind it; I have been out of the world for over a year, even more so since February when I started my current job. I quiet literally have no face to face interaction other then with my friends or neighbors. Not all of this is my doing, but I can't say I've been doing much to reverse the situation.

Money has been tight lately. I have been lost as to how some people have money they can just spend frivolously, when I can not even find money for simple things that would improve my life. They are not needs so I push them aside. This was the first reason for getting a second job for the season, or maybe even permanently if I enjoy it and can swing it. The second reason I have stated above, I need interaction with warm human beings. Not just words on a screen. My mind works well but my body language and mouth have atrophied.

Therefore I am doing this more for my mental health then for the monetary gain. I am worried that I won't spend as much time with Mike, however, this is something I need and we will both gain from it. He told me he felt bad that I felt I needed to get a second job to help out (even though I barely make enough for my own bills let alone our shared ones) but I reassured him as to why I was doing it and he said I could work as many shifts as I wanted to.

So I plan on it. And I'm going to take half of what I make to pay off debt, and the other half to do as I please with it. Which will most definitely be enjoyable. We are also moving at the end of the year which will help slam me back into world of people. New roommates makes for new opportunities and friendships.

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