It's cracking

My heart is slowly cracking, chipping off in pieces. My cereal isn't hitting like he used to and my little rookie isn't either. The terrible two have put up some numbers and sexy legs has hit a few. But without home runs we just aren't doing so well.

I was really looking forward to a Rockies vs Red Sox World Series. When is the next chance that is going to happen? Well, if the Rockies keep up how they are doing maybe it'll come around again.

After I'd decided I wasn't going to stay up all night just to be disappointed I went into the bedroom and Mike was talking to Adam. I haven't talked to him since we moved, and he asked to talk to me :D I was pretty happy about that. You know you are a cool girlfriend when your boy's ex band mate wants to talk to you! He fought off all the groupies for me too. Haha I talked to Peach the other day too, I miss those guys. I miss a lot of people from Colorado. I am going to have to make an effort next time Mike and I are both in Colorado together to go hangout with them all again. Between Mike's family, mine, and friends in both northern CO and Denver... oi... I'm going to have to take 2 weeks! It'll be nice though.

This was a pretty pointless post :P Except to say that I am realizing what it is to be a Red Sox fan and that I love being that awesome girlfriend.

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What about me?

*Exhibit removed because it was being a brat. Please enjoy the rest of the park. Thank you*

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Lost Memories

Honestly I forgot I had this already :\

I found out yesterday a girl I went to high school with was murdered. Murdered. How does that happen? She was in the grade below me and I had choir with her, but everyone knew her anyways. But not because she was super popular or pretty, but because she was so strong. She had been diagnosed with Leukemia in middle school. Through most of high school she was was battling for her life. She went through surgeries, chemo, all kinds of things. And through it all she was a happy person! She's one of those girls you just absolutely fall in love with. Apparently she married into an abusive relationship, but got out (another strong strong thing to do!) but unfortunately he was jealous when she started to see someone else... and shot them both.

Everyone who knew her is just in shock. How does this sort of thing happen to such a wonderful person? How can one man decide that he is going to rid the world of such a great woman?! HOW DARE HE. How dare someone change the world in that way. How dare someone decide that they are powerful enough and important enough to take someone else's life.

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Physical Thinking

There are more ways to be spoiled then through money. I've never been broken. I've never had to survive after something ended without my planning it. I've always had something to fall back on. The only thing I've ever done all by myself was my Vet Tech school. Interestingly enough I put my whole heart into it.

I need that again. I need to cut the apron strings (Sorry Mike you now have an apron) and toughen up. I don't know right now if I could rely on myself to get through things. I need to explore myself. Scary as that sounds, I'm completely comfortable with it. The idea came up that maybe I need to live by myself for a little while. I've always been terrified of that. Completely terrified. But right now.. that actually sounds ok. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I need something like that. If I can afford it, maybe I should once the lease is up.

A lot of thought needs to go into a decision like this, but I feel like if it's possible, I should. I need to test my own strength and find out my capabilities.

I need to be broken.

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But What about the Snail?

"Malnutrition is a general term for the medical condition caused by an improper or insufficient diet. It most often refers to under nutrition resulting from inadequate consumption, poor absorption, or excessive loss of nutrients"

Nothing ever talks about those college age people who simple eat poorly. Over the past week I've experienced irritability, fatigue, general bitchiness, and I still haven't gotten over this damn cold. Today Mike quizzes me on what I ate today like I was an anorexic to which I answered; powdered doughnuts (ran out of cereal shush), and pizza. What did I eat yesterday? An apple, some chick peas and fruit loops. No I'm not anorexic. I simply ran out of food in my refrigerator and have yet to get more. He diagnosed me as being malnourished because of my poor eating over the last week. I need to get back to my Kashi and naked juice!

I hereby make this pledge as of tomorrow to take better care of my body and reverse my poor health.

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